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CHAPTER 12
SELF-IMAGE
Introduction
There are two important concepts that are taken too
lightly today: (1) OBJECTIVITY and (2) SUBJECTIVITY.
Subjectivity refers to the way that a particular person
perceives reality. Objectivity refers to reality as it
actually is.
In our humanistic educational system, it is assumed
that human beings have either (1) somewhat arrived at the
position of "objectivity" via human achievement, or
"objectivity" is denied. A superficial examination will
reveal that men so persuaded are laboring under a delusion
and as a result, their conclusions will be in error.
Objectivity exists only in the mind of God.
The Basis of Understanding
However, man's predicament is not hopeless, since God
has given vital fragments of truth in the Bible. By person-
ally appropriating these truths, one can have an increasing-
ly objective view of reality. With this foundational truth
one can proceed to examine the topic of self-image.
Realities and Concepts
Two Entities
The reality is the person as he objectively exists,
that is, as he is known by God. (The writer is indebted
for the basic ideas in this section to Dr. Hodges' class in
Marriage and the Home taken at Drury College, Springfield,
MO, ca. 1962). Then, there is the self-concept, or the way
the individual sees himself. The two are never perfectly
aligned, for one never knows himself completely. However,
one's self-concept should correspond more and more to
reality as he experiences the principles of God's Word. The
person himself should also change for the better as time
progresses. Notice that there are two entities with one
person involved.
Six Entities
The interpersonal relationship between a man and a
woman is more complicated. There are the two real persons
plus two self-concepts, plus the two concepts they have of
each other. Six entities are created when one person is
added.
In a situation such as this, the man brings to the
relationship a concept of "femaleness" built on partial
information, misinformation and fantasy. The woman brings a
similar concept of "maleness."
Human nature is such that in "putting our best foot
forward," one projects the best of himself to others. This
is done physically by wearing clothing that covers deficien-
cies, using hairpieces, makeup, etc. Also, one generally is
on his best behavior. In addition, one uses polished speech
and talks about "Uncle John the M.D.," never "Uncle Sam the
horse thief. Why drag out "family skeletons" when one is
trying to sell himself to a prospective mate? The "blanks"
one leaves out of his projected self-image are left to be
filled in with conjectures by the one receiving the trans-
mission. He does this (1) on the basis of his judgment of
the one transmitting and (2) his own wishful thinking. (Some
of the faulty transmission may be due to one (1) transmit-
ting who he thinks he is; (2) deliberate omissions; and (3)
deliberate deceptions). Thus, both the transmission and
reception are faulty. Then, there is the whole SEMANTIC
area: one word may have different meanings for different
people. For instance, the phrase, "I love you" may mean (1)
"You are my friend" [From Greek, PHILEO]; (2) "I am romanti-
cally or sexually attracted to you" [From Greek, EROS]; (3)
"You are like family" [From Greek, STORGE]; or (4) "I am
committed to you and your well-being above my own" [From
Greek, AGAPE]. What did the transmitter mean and how did
the receiver interpret it? One who is not a Christian
would never have experienced AGAPE, God's love, and would
have no frame of reference to understand it--a twisted mean-
ing would be applied as evidenced by the common questions,
"What is his angle?" or "What does he want?" Also, those
from a dysfunctional family would not fully understand
STORGE.
Nine Entities.
We have discussed horizontal relationships up to this
point. However, the primary relationship is vertical. GOD
IS. Therefore, to ignore God in any relationship is foolish
and detrimental to all involved.
Since God knows himself and his creation absolutely,
both his Self-Concept and his concept of others is complete-
ly accurate or OBJECTIVE. Thus, when God is added to the
relationship, five entities are added rather than nine. The
point to be made here is that God alone knows people abso-
lutely (1) as they were, (2) as they are now and (3) as they
will become in the future. Since God desires the best for
each person, it is morally stupid not to seek his guidance
in relationships and in the area of self-image.
The tragedy of human experience is that whereas one's
concepts of oneself and another are distorted, one's concept
of God is sometimes super-distorted. It is common to include
in one's concept of God certain attributes of man and even
of Satan!
There are many scriptures that describe the roles of
God and Satan, but one of the most plain is Jesus own
description:
The thief comes only to steal and kill and
destroy; I have come that they may have life, and
have it to the full. (John 10:10, NIV).
The thief, or Satan, steals, kills and destroys. Jesus
brings the highest quality of life.
By projecting man's attributes onto God, God is reduced
to a "big human being in the sky." This is anthropomorphism
at its worse. It slanders God by attributing sin to him.
One must remember that God is both holy and loving. Man has
a sinful nature. One is reminded of the integrity of God in
the scriptures:
"God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son
of man, that he should change his mind. Does he
speak and then not act? Does he promise and not
fulfill?" (Numbers 23:19, NIV).
When the idea of God originates in man, it is terribly
flawed. It is always an idol. This idol can be fashioned
into a physical object. However, often it is a mental
fabrication of a god of personal convenience--a wrong idea
of God. These idols must be smashed and replaced by the
true likeness of God. (See "The Second Commandment" in my
book, THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, for a more full treatment of
idolatry).
When God abstracts from himself the true idea of him-
self and projects that idea to us, it is accurate. That
is, it is as accurate as we can receive it. The transmitter
is accurate, but the receiver is both finite and flawed.
Thank God, he helps us to receive by His Spirit. God has
revealed his true nature by the written Word and more fully
in his Son, the Living Word:
In many separate revelations--each of which
set forth a portion of the Truth--and in different
ways God spoke of old to [our] forefathers in and
by the prophets. [But] in the last of these days
He has spoken to us in [the person of a] Son, Whom
He appointed Heir and lawful Owner of all things,
also by and through Whom He created the worlds and
the reaches of space and the ages of time--[that
is,] He made, produced, built, operated and
arranged them in order. He is the sole expression
of the glory of God--the Light-being, the out-
raying of the divine--and He is the perfect
imprint and very image of [God's] nature,
upholding and maintaining and guiding and
propelling the universe by His mighty word of
power. . . . . (Hebrews 1:1-3, The Amplified
Bible).
Every word that Jesus spoke and every good deed that he
accomplished was a revelation of God. Jesus is the will and
Word of God personified.
The purpose of the transmission of the Word of God
to an individual is for that person to become the word of
God incarnate. When one accepts Christ as his personal
Savior, the Holy Spirit gives him a new nature and he
partakes of the nature of God. That person does not become
God, but he becomes a child of God. When one receives the
nature of God, then he has a limited, but true knowledge of
God. The one who is regenerated understands that God is
trustworthy and, as a result, will receive God's guidance.
Forty-nine Entities
The two individuals represented in this chapter are
married believers. When we add the four inlaws, the number
of entities jumps to forty-nine! With the picture of God
and six people being this complicated, imagine the picture
with family members, church members, schoolmates, and fellow
employees!
When one begins to understand the biblical concept of
self-image, then he can (1) cooperate more fully with God to
improve his real self; (2) gain a better understanding of
God, himself and others; and (3) help others more. An
increase in self-esteem will result.
END